80 Pounds

As usual, the day has been filled with ups and downs. My teeth and tongue still hurt and eating is really difficult. I didn't count my Weight Watchers points, as I'm just happy to eat what I can. If this isn't better tomorrow, I'll have to talk to the dentist. I can't deal with another day off track, it's discouraging. I'm hoping to get back to the gym tomorrow or Saturday. The bright side to my day is that I got to spend time with family, my hubby and daughter in the morning and my Momma in the evening. My husband and I hung out with our cutie and ate homemade french onion soup. My Mom and I watched Hart of Dixie and watched my little one practice walking. It's been a fulfilling day in many ways and I feel very blessed to have such wonderful people in my life.  Throwback Thursday =)

It's been another day filled with many ups and downs. I didn't get much sleep due to insomnia, so I awoke exhausted. My main plan for the day was going to the dentist to have 3 teeth repaired and it;s been incredibly painful. It's forced me off my Weight Watchers, as I can hardly eat anything that isn't ready to swallow, so I'm just trying to keep my strength up at the moment. I have no intentions of letting it take me off track though, I just have to think of this as self care today and possibly tomorrow. On the bright side, we got a new car today! That's enough to lift anyone's spirits! It's such a blessing and relief to have reliable transportation. All in all, I have no complaints, just a toothache. My attempt at a smile while still numbed up and our new car! =P

After a stressful day, it's hard not to crave snacks and sweets. I found myself wanting just that as I strolled through Target earlier. I waited too long to eat and got way too hungry. It almost backfired, but I held it together and got some pretty makeup instead. I wasn't able to make it to the gym, but I did stick to my Weight Watchers and that's my primary goal. The first week is always the hardest! Making my dreams come true! =)

It's been a stressful day, but I hit all my goals. I went to the gym and worked out (I had to do a short workout because I'm fighting a cold, but the point is that I went and worked out hard for 15 mins). I stuck to my Weight Watchers and stayed within my points. Frustrating things still happened, I still got tempted, I found out that my weight was a tad higher then I expected (222.4), I had money issues, but I stuck with it despite it all. I know it's only my first day back on the horse, but it feels great! Gym Pic =P

Yesterday, after posting, I decided to get a haircut. It was a nice change and it felt good to pamper myself a little. I got some layers and now I can wear my hair down a little more often. It definitely lifted my spirits. Although I've felt fairly hopeless the last couple of months, I'm starting to see a glimmer of hope. I've made plans to go to the gym and start back on Weight Watchers tomorrow and I really have faith I can do it for the long haul this time. I won't say that I'm not scared (and intimidated by the fact that I need to find better coping mechanisms), but I remember how good I felt when I was getting in shape and it pushes me forward. In August I'm going back to visit family and friends out of state and I am determined to go back looking better than I did when I left. My goal for the trip is 180 lbs, which is my halfway point. It's ambitious, but 40 lbs (give or take) in three months is attainable if I really put my mind to it. It's go

I usually tend to avoid conversations that involve my weight. It's a topic I fear because it means admitting that I don't feel good in my skin these days. I'd like to pretend that I'm "normal", that it's okay to be this overweight. That's probably what's gotten me to this point, denial. For awhile I was able to make excuses, like, "I'm still getting rid of that pesky baby weight." or "It's the Holiday Season, I'll start working on my diet in the New Year." It made it seem okay, almost tolerable, until I'd see a picture of myself that wasn't a selfie taken at a careful angle. Humiliation and confusion would ensue. Is that ME? How did I let this happen? Then the depression and self-loathing would begin to settle in. That's where I'm at now. A couple of months ago I joined Weight Watchers and began going to the gym. I lost twelve pounds in about three weeks and I was feeling GREAT. I was determined to