I usually tend to avoid conversations that involve my weight. It's a topic I fear because it means admitting that I don't feel good in my skin these days. I'd like to pretend that I'm "normal", that it's okay to be this overweight. That's probably what's gotten me to this point, denial. For awhile I was able to make excuses, like, "I'm still getting rid of that pesky baby weight." or "It's the Holiday Season, I'll start working on my diet in the New Year." It made it seem okay, almost tolerable, until I'd see a picture of myself that wasn't a selfie taken at a careful angle. Humiliation and confusion would ensue. Is that ME? How did I let this happen? Then the depression and self-loathing would begin to settle in. That's where I'm at now.
A couple of months ago I joined Weight Watchers and began going to the gym. I lost twelve pounds in about three weeks and I was feeling GREAT. I was determined to get my life in order and I was really doing it. Then my daughter caught RSV (which was terrifying in and of itself) and passed it onto my husband and I. It took a couple of weeks to get to feeling better and by then I was off my routine completely. It seemed like it should be easy to get back on track, but it wasn't and still isn't to this day. To make matters worse, my little one is going through sleep regression and I'm just not sleeping. Being a stress eater + no sleep + low self-esteem + depression/anxiety = no motivation and no change.
It's truly horrifying to put this out there for the whole world to see, but I hope it does three things:
1) Get me motivated to return to the healthy, wonderful habits that were changing my life.
2) Help someone else out there who feels as hopeless as I have and
3) Prove that it IS possible to turn your life around!
Over the next twelve months, I am determined to get to my goal weight (140 lbs - which means I need to lose about 80 lbs) and make the changes necessary to be my best self. I know that a big portion of that is going to depend on loving myself at every stage, especially loving myself enough to start this journey again and stick with it. I will try to post here every day and put up pics of my progress. This is day one of the rest of my life and I'm going to make it amazing. Wish me luck!
A couple of months ago I joined Weight Watchers and began going to the gym. I lost twelve pounds in about three weeks and I was feeling GREAT. I was determined to get my life in order and I was really doing it. Then my daughter caught RSV (which was terrifying in and of itself) and passed it onto my husband and I. It took a couple of weeks to get to feeling better and by then I was off my routine completely. It seemed like it should be easy to get back on track, but it wasn't and still isn't to this day. To make matters worse, my little one is going through sleep regression and I'm just not sleeping. Being a stress eater + no sleep + low self-esteem + depression/anxiety = no motivation and no change.
It's truly horrifying to put this out there for the whole world to see, but I hope it does three things:
1) Get me motivated to return to the healthy, wonderful habits that were changing my life.
2) Help someone else out there who feels as hopeless as I have and
3) Prove that it IS possible to turn your life around!
Over the next twelve months, I am determined to get to my goal weight (140 lbs - which means I need to lose about 80 lbs) and make the changes necessary to be my best self. I know that a big portion of that is going to depend on loving myself at every stage, especially loving myself enough to start this journey again and stick with it. I will try to post here every day and put up pics of my progress. This is day one of the rest of my life and I'm going to make it amazing. Wish me luck!
BEFORE:
(A fairly recent photo of about where I'm at right now. I can't wait to post an after pic!)
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