Day 5 - Pain and Happiness

It's been another day filled with many ups and downs. I didn't get much sleep due to insomnia, so I awoke exhausted. My main plan for the day was going to the dentist to have 3 teeth repaired and it;s been incredibly painful. It's forced me off my Weight Watchers, as I can hardly eat anything that isn't ready to swallow, so I'm just trying to keep my strength up at the moment. I have no intentions of letting it take me off track though, I just have to think of this as self care today and possibly tomorrow. On the bright side, we got a new car today! That's enough to lift anyone's spirits! It's such a blessing and relief to have reliable transportation. All in all, I have no complaints, just a toothache.

My attempt at a smile while still numbed up and our new car! =P

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Day 4 - Temptation

After a stressful day, it's hard not to crave snacks and sweets. I found myself wanting just that as I strolled through Target earlier. I waited too long to eat and got way too hungry. It almost backfired, but I held it together and got some pretty makeup instead. I wasn't able to make it to the gym, but I did stick to my Weight Watchers and that's my primary goal. The first week is always the hardest! Making my dreams come true! =)

Reboot

Okay, so I fell off the proverbial wagon. I didn't gain tons of weight, but I certainly didn't lose much in the last few months. I've been back on Weight Watchers for three days (and just got back to the gym today) and I have lost 3 lbs. Not too shabby. I am at 215, with an ultimate goal of 140 - 75 lbs to go. It seems pretty far off, but I have lot's of goals and feel like I can push past this setback and be successful. Every day I am going to try to remember that this isn't just about me, it's about being alive to see my baby girl grow up and have her own babies. It's about growing old with my hubby. It's about feeling good in my own skin. I know that losing weight isn't the way to learn self-love (I'd need a whole new blog for that journey), but making healthy choices and taking control of my life will definitely be a self-esteem booster. Wish me luck...! P.S. Here's a goofy pic of me preparing to kick it up a notch... =P

Day 1 - Pandora's Box

I usually tend to avoid conversations that involve my weight. It's a topic I fear because it means admitting that I don't feel good in my skin these days. I'd like to pretend that I'm "normal", that it's okay to be this overweight. That's probably what's gotten me to this point, denial. For awhile I was able to make excuses, like, "I'm still getting rid of that pesky baby weight." or "It's the Holiday Season, I'll start working on my diet in the New Year." It made it seem okay, almost tolerable, until I'd see a picture of myself that wasn't a selfie taken at a careful angle. Humiliation and confusion would ensue. Is that ME? How did I let this happen? Then the depression and self-loathing would begin to settle in. That's where I'm at now. A couple of months ago I joined Weight Watchers and began going to the gym. I lost twelve pounds in about three weeks and I was feeling GREAT. I was determined to ...

80 Pounds

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